Objects On Facebook Are Farther (From Reality) Than They Seem

4.30.2014

News flash-everyones life is not as shiny, perfect and happy as it may seem to be on Facebook. I had a discussion with a friend of mine the other day and she was in tears saying how her life is incomplete because she constantly compares her life to her Facebook friends. She felt awful for not being married yet or having children, because that is what her news feed was full of. That broke my heart.

I had to remind her that first of all almost everyone purposefully portrays themselves in a positive light on there. Not everyone, I have seen some juicy marital spats and friendships end literally before my eyes when I read through some peoples stauses and comments. But for the most part Facebook has become a platform to show off.

The reality is that no one is sitting around posting pictures of themselves when they are having a really low day and are feeling fat, or their cellulite is showing or their face is breaking out so bad. Pictures are posted of shiny new cars, not dented, high milage rusted out about to break down. Perfectly coiffed family portraits with children in pristine white clothes are shown daily. How they even managed to keep a kid clean for 5 minutes is beyond me. But no one posts pictures of their toddler with the runny noses, vomit, dirt and scrapes that is reality for parents. Married couples smiling and holding hands may look like the president and first lady, but dig deeper and this is a couple that is about to get divorced and fights nightly.

I'm guilty of it too and used to be really affected. I would look at girls I used to go to high school with and be jealous that they still looked good (or even better-damn them!) and still hung out with the same popular crew I was never a part of and so desperately wanted. I would see so many skinny, fitness model type friends who when they would post bikini pics I immediately started hating my body.

But again-Ive heard the saying don't compare your behind the scenes (aka your not so glamourous daily reality) to someones highlight reel. As soon as I start comparing myself I have to stop-get off their page and look around at my own life and start counting my blessings-health, marriage, financial stability, my family and friends.

I also stopped posting lots of pictures and statuses that could be considered bragging and really try to think about the message I am trying to send before posting. Of course I want to share the happy moments and millstones with my family and friends but I also want to make sure I'm doing it for the right reason and not just to show off or make it look like my life is so perfect. Because its not...just like everyone else's.

Facebook Fantasy:

Perfect hair (check), makeup turned out nice (check), halo like glow behind me (check)  Yep Facebook worthy

Facebook Reality:

Literally look like a tin hat conspiracy theorist. Yeah this isn't going on Facebook…behind the scenes baby!

6 comments :

  1. I hadn't heard this quote before "don't compare your behind the scenes to someones highlight reel" but I LOVE it. I'm not on facebook and I just hear so much about the drama that it causes I can't really see that changing for me. But I do think it can be a great tool for people that know how to keep it in perspective, and it sounds like you're learned some good ways to do that. Love your behind the scenes post. Glad to know you're a natural blonde like me. :) hee hee.
    Gina -- On the Daily Express

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  2. So true! I was actually thinking of this the other day. People post the good, and so perceptions by others think it's all good... or there are those that post only the bad. Either way. I agree with you. Good post! :)

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  3. I love this!
    And this actually is a good lead in to my post tomorrow about my Jamaica trip. The pictures on Facebook were beautiful, but behind those pics were a hot mess of a vacation! Definitely don't believe what you read on the internet!! Except for me, I really do love this post! <3
    Carylee | morepiecesofme.com

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  4. I actually have some friends who had to get off facebook for this very reason! Seeing everyone's "highlight reel" makes it hard to feel good about yourself. Whenever I start to feel that way, I just remind myself that people don't post the bad stuff!

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  5. I used to post everything on FB to all my "friends". Now I just post to my "family" list. And truthfully, I don't post that much any more... now that the kids are all older, I'm not allowed to post "unauthorized" photos of them! Geesh!!!
    Thanks for linking up for MM!! Hope to see you back on the grid in September! :)

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  6. did your husband go to med school in detroit too (I went to Wayne state) or are you just moving to detroit?

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